I have a coworker who will be returning from maternity leave soon and she recently reached out asking for some tips on how to prepare. As I was responding to her email, I figured I’d turn it into a blog post as well for any other new moms or moms-to-be out there!

I went through so many emotions during my maternity leave…your hormones are WACKO and you are running on such little sleep that some days I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it to the end of the day! And then at the same time, you are soaking up precious memories with a teeny tiny human and wondering how the heck you could possibly leave him/her for an entire day.

Returning to work is not a decision that Blake and I made lightly. We talked A LOT – both before I got pregnant and while I was pregnant – in order to choose what we felt was best for our family. Ultimately, we decided I would return to work after my maternity leave and continue to work full time while Luke went to Daycare. I have another post in the works about my thoughts on Daycare and how it’s working for our family, but personally I decided to contribute to our family financially rather than staying home full time.

That being said…I still struggle with this decision at times. I truly LOVE being a mom and  it’s hard to be away from him for such long periods. I also struggle with Mom Guilt (ya’ll…the mom guilt is so real!!! I feel it about everything!). I feel guilty that I only see him for a short time in the morning and at night. I feel guilty that someone else changes his diaper and feeds him during the day. And I feel guilty that I really ENJOY my job and being around other adults throughout the day. It’s something I’m working on, but just wanted to include that for any other mamas who struggle with the same things.

SO. All that to say…there’s no perfect solution and there’s no perfect choice that works for everyone. At this point, working full time is working for our family and I feel that it is the right decision for OUR family. Circumstances may change in the future, but for now this our life! If you are a mom who will be returning to work (part-time or full-time), here are my tips that may help you as you face that transition:

1. Find a childcare option that works well for you and your family – this could look different for you compared to your friends or neighbors. From an in-house nanny, to a shared nanny, to grandparents/relatives, to on-site daycare at your office, to a church daycare, to a traditional daycare, to any combination of the above…there are lots of different options to choose from. I encourage you to explore every option and weigh the pros and cons before making a decision. If you will be taking the baby somewhere other than your home, discuss this with your spouse/partner to determine who will be doing pickup and/or drop-off. This may affect the location as well as your morning/after work schedules
2. Know that the first day and week are HARD – it’s going to be hard. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. I cried the entire weekend before I went back to work and that first day back was the longest day of my life. Each day got a little easier, and while it’s still not necessarily easy to drop him off, it’s become our new normal and part of our routine.
3. See if your childcare has a way to update you throughout the day – one of my coworkers can login and view a live stream of her child’s room at daycare during the day. My facility doesn’t offer this option, but they send pictures throughout the day and I received an update at the end of every day with information on when/how much ate, when he had a diaper change and what kind of diaper it was (this was helpful for us to determine he had a milk protein allergy), when he napped, what he did that day, etc. Seeing pictures of him smiling that first week was a lifesaver!
4. Ask your daycare if you can have a trial day the week before you return – Our daycare offered this to us and I cannot recommend doing this more. We did our trial the Friday before I returned to work to practice what it would be like waking up, getting ready, getting out the door, and dropping him off. It is so much harder getting out the door with a newborn, so having a day to practice helped so much. Blake and I did this together and it was nice to meet the teachers again (we met them during our tour as well), figure out where to put all his stuff, and what to do when we drop him off every morning. This saved so much time on Monday and also allowed us to practice leaving (I needed all the help I could get!). Blake and I went to breakfast and ran an errand before going back to get him. I cried the entire way to breakfast, but it was seriously so helpful to have the trial day 🙂
5. Reach out to your employer ahead of time if you need to alter your schedule or have a private room to pump – if you plan on pumping at work, go ahead and reach out ahead of time to notify your employer so they can guarantee a private room for you on day 1. Ask if they can move a small refrigerator into your office or workspace, or plan on bringing a mini cooler with you if that’s not an option. If you need to alter your schedule in order to accommodate your childcare’s schedule, let your boss know as far in advance as possible so you can work it out.
6. Bring pictures with you on your first day back – print out your favorite pictures from the first few months and bring those in with you. Just looking at that cute little face will help you power through!
7. Try not to schedule any plans for that first weekend after you return  – this may not be practical for some, but I was so exhausted after my first week back that all I wanted to do was stay home. I also missed spending all day with the baby, so having no plans other than spending time as a family was exactly what I needed after a tough week of adjusting to our new schedule.
8. Buy yourself a little something to wear to work – This sounds superficial, but after months of not fitting into my clothes during pregnancy and wearing loungewear for most of my maternity leave, I was excited to dress up a bit when I headed back to work. You worked HARD carrying that baby and taking care of him/her afterwards – reward yourself with something nice to wear to make you feel confident!
9. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (or accept it when offered) – Whether it’s from your spouse/partner, friends, relatives, coworkers, your boss…ask for help if you need it! I was stubborn at first and wanted to do everything myself to prove that I could do it, but after awhile I realized people want to help and sometimes you need that help to get you through.
10. Know that your decision now doesn’t have to be your lifelong decision – One day when I was feeling guilty about working, my mom told me that just because I choose that option now, doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind later. Just realizing that option and letting go of the permanency helped me so much. This goes both ways – just because you don’t return to work now doesn’t mean you can’t in the future. Take one step at a time and make decisions that work best for your family at that point in time.

And a final bonus tip..

11. Cut yourself some slack – Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You will basically have two jobs now and that can be hard. Some days you will feel like you’ve got it all under control and sometimes you will feel like you are failing at everything. You’re human. Just do your best and know we are all in this together!

Moms who are currently back to work…anything I left out? New moms who are thinking about going back to work…anything you want to know more about? Let me know!

xoxo,

Lauren